Random Stories of the Hetalia Kind
by Pinkithai
Summary: It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a collection of random stories! These stories are for the Hetalia all of the Hetalia fangirls and fanguys out there. These are intended to amuse the general public and not to offend anyone. Reviews and PM's are highly recommended! And so I don't have to say it every single chapter, I do not own Hetalia. Hasta la Pasta! *Sealand Image Forever!*
1. Chapter 1: A New Leaf

**Hello everyone! As you probably notice, Random Events of the Hetalia Kind has been deleted! The reason why I'm not an emotional wreck (I got the emotions of Ukraine... Yeah...) is because I was ready for this. I knew I was breaking the rules... I was hiding in guilt for so long...**

**So, instead of Random Events, I have...**

**Wait for it...**

**Wait for it!**

**Random Stories of the Hetalia Kind!**

**Y-You saw what I did there? I-Instead of Events...**

**Yea, you saw.**

**It was kicked out for scripting, interactive, real persons, etc. so this shouldn't be a problem! Because I have no idea where the real person part comes in, I am not scripting anymore, and interactive means that the people decide where the peoples control where the story goes... You know voting? Right? That's what I think...**

**Anyways, there shall be no more reviews. Sadly. But there shall the asking of the one shots!**

**So presenting... Chapter 1: A New Leaf!**

* * *

A bus skidded through the forest at breakneck speed. Despite the soundproof windows that a very, very smart German replaced with the regular windows, the sounds of terrified screams resonated through the forest. They knew right as the bus started moving that it was a horrible idea to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" for the position as driver. Especially because of the sole purpose that Vargas twins were playing.

And that Antonio could never win against Lovino.

_**NEVER.**_

So, as soon as the bus stopped, ever person got out. Whether it was through the top, the back, the window or even the front. But who uses the front anymore?

Maybe that Arthur dude.

"Alrighty dudes and dudettes! We arrived safe and sound! I was almost forced to use my superhero powers! And I wanna save that for later, just in case Artie makes his super disgusting scones!" a blonde hair blued eye American yelled out to everyone as soon as they reached safe ground. His name is Alfred. But as Hetalia fangirls/boys, we should all know that!

"My scones are _not _disgusting. In fact, they are very delicious. Right Peter?" a stingy British gentleman, also known as Arthur, said. He turned to his little brother, Peter, to find out he was riding the majestic butter squid. Arthur blinked twice before turning back to Alfred.

"I don't want him ever going to your house again." Alfred just nodded in response. Even though he wasn't showing it, he was so very infuriated about this abomination called "The Majestic Butter Squid". People don't combined butter and squids. It's. Just. Wrong.

A certain butter-loving Norwegian named Lukas would, like, totally agree with him.

"So... Did anyone bring any fruking supplies?" a certain Italian driver (AKA Lovino) asked. Everyone looked around to each individual to see if anyone had brought any supplies. In the end, the only supplies that some people brought was a bag of Arthur's scones, some salmiakki that our local Finish person, Tino, had brought and a creeper costume that someone found in the depths of Russia's aura. The person who found it was a very, very brave Frenchie that is currently sitting in a tree contemplating suicide.

Warning: Never go into Russia's Aura.

"Well... Do anyone want some salmiakki?" asked Tino. He held out his hand to any takers. Of course, no one was brave enough to try out this Finnish "delicacy". Or at the very most, stupid enough.

"THE AWESOME ME WANTS SOME!"

Never mind.

Tino happily gave this so called "Awesome" person, who was a Prussian man named Gilbert, some of his Finnish delights. He was happy to spread his culture to other people. Not many people are interested in Finnish culture, you know.

Gilbert put the piece of candy given to him into his mouth.

Loading...

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Download complete. "Salt Overload" has been added in file "Gilbert's Tastebuds"

Gilbert was instantly on the floor as soon as his tastebuds tasted the salty treat. Ludwig, the smart German mentioned early in the story, was next to his older brother trying to get the horrid piece of salt out of his mouth. But, nothing ever goes right here, so Gilbert swallowed it. Let's just say that Ludwig, only thinking about his brother who needs his stomach pumped due to not having the acquired taste needed for salmiakki, stole the bus from Lovino and flew away. With rainbow's coming behind the bus like Nyan Cat.

**FRUK LOGIC.**

All the other friends looked at each other with worried expressions. "W-What if we die out here? That would be horrible!" a busty Ukrainian woman by the name of Katyusha cried out. She then burst into tears and hugged the nearest person, which happened to be a Latvian teen. His face was instantly buried in her chest. Blood was quickly absorbed into her shirt. This caused her to stop and cry, constantly saying "Sorry" in either English or Ukrainian.

But no one was really paying attention.

"Vee... What will we do without pasta?" the other Vargas twin, Feliciano, asked. Everyone one wondered about this. Except they were thinking of food in general.

"Big bruder, will we starve?" a little Liechtensteiner (I guess that's what they call themselves...) named Lily asked her older step-brother, Vash. He looked at her with slightly softer eyes and patted her head. "That will never happen again as long as I'm around." Lili nodded.

"Eto... Vash-san. Don't you have your gun?" a Japanese male named...

**HONDA KIKU OMG!**

Or in America, Kiku Honda, said.

"MAN UP BEFORE I BE- Sorry. Habit. Yes, I have my gun. Why are you concerned about it? Do you have a problem with that?" Vash gave Kiku a look that could even freeze Medusa. And she freezes people for a living!

Kiku turned into a very fashionable statue. Sadly, he didn't get to state his fact. However, Tino's self proclaimed husband, Berwald, caught on to Kiku's idea.

"Y' h've y'r g'n, r'ght? Y' sh'd b' 'ble t' h'nt f'r 'vr'ne"

But no one had no idea what he was talking about. If Tino was there, he would know. But, Tino had walked to the police station to arrest himself for poisoning Gilbert.

Everyone was crying for how they were all going to die. They all huddled around underneath a big tree and cried how much they were going to miss living and life in general. Suddenly, giving all the friends a taste of what's going to come, it started raining cats and dogs. Metaphorically.

The only ones who weren't crying was Kiku, Berwald (for he was trying to tell everyone of his plan), Peter (who was still riding his butter squid to freedom), Ludwig, Tino (he_ was_ crying but not about dying. No, he was crying because he's in PREESON), Gilbert, Ravis (that poor Latvian fellow) and some other people that were too brave to cry. Like Alfred the hero. Heroes don't cry!

But then, Ivan, a tall Russia male, spotted something in the distance. "Heavens to Betsy! What strange and terrifying thing is that?!" he shouted in surprise. His younger sister, Natalia, took out her magnifying glass and looked at it.

"Big brother, it is a flying burrito," she said calmly as if it was the most common thing in the world. This caused Alfred to jump up and down excitedly. "YES! SUPER HERO GLOBAL MAN HAS ARRIVED!"

Everyone rejoiced and lived happily ever after. Except Francis, that Frenchie who ventured into Russia's aura. He was never the same again.

* * *

**So? You likely? Because you should totally. I mean, I have Kuledud3 for inspiration. So it has to be awesome.**

**I'm sorry... My love for MC...**

**So, I hope you like the new series~! It's gonna have the randomness stories ever!**

**Well, not ever. I could never accomplish that (it's the truth peoples).**

**Anyways, please review or better yet, PM, what you want the next chapter to be about! I think PM-ing won't get me into trouble... And many people have these drabble fanfictions...**

**Hasta la Pasta~!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Switzidusa's Wrath Part 1

**So, this is the second chapter. MADE BY ME. AHAHAHAHA. What? Sometimes I wanna make my own things.**

**Thanks to Phoebe-chan, Fred and George Weasley Twins, and Alex2cool2. To answer your question Phoebe, I will be taking requests for chapters. HOWEVER. You _must_ PM this. Please. If I get it by PM, I won't get in trouble. I think. I dunno. That's what most peoples are doing.**

**Btw, I have no knowledge of the Greek language. So, if 'μαμά' does not mean 'mama' and 'μέλι' doesn't mean 'honey', please, please tell me. I got this of the interwebs for crying out loud! Ya can't trust that place!**

**Happy Readings!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Switzidusa's Wrath**

Heracules, a Greek man who was actually sleeping on the bus the whole time, knew that something was wrong. He didn't mind how the bus was moving at the speed of light, nor did he mind how that was possible. It brought him closer to his beloved cats. Cats was one of the three main things in life. Another one was sleep. That was a main essential in his life. Without sleep, how would his life function? Sleep made him productive for any obstacle that was to come his away.

The third main thing in his life was most likely his best friend, Honda Kiku. Or Kiku Honda in America (There are clueless people in the world sooo I have to put this in there. Sad, isn't it). The Japanese man was probably the light of his life. Not in a romantic way, of course. Even if the Hercules was remotely interested in the Japanese man, Kiku would never accept his advances. Kiku _pushed_ one of his dearest friends because Feli (the Italian man that is his bestie) was in his personal space.

Because of Hercules and Kiku's dearest friendship, Hercules could sense if Kiku was in danger and vice versa. So when he got this oddest of odd feeling, he got majorly worried. Something in his Greek mind said that it was an old enemy of his... Of course, he was confused at his brain. The only enemy he ever had in his life was a Turkish man by the name of Sadiq Annan. Despite Sadiq being Hercules enemy, they both shared Kiku as a best friend.

A conversation between him and his mother flashed through his brain.

_Flashback_

_"μαμά...," a boy with messy brown hair and green eyes said to his mother while waiting for breakfast. She nodded to show him that she was listening.  
_

_"What is reincarnation?" _

_His mother froze and turned to face him, amber hair flying everywhere. "Hercules, who told you that?" she asked. He looked at the table for a minute then looked directly into her eyes. "My friend... Kiku... He said that some of his people... Believe in reincarnation...," he mumbled. His mother nodded to herself and put a cover onto the pot. She sat on a chair right next to him._

_"μέλι... Reincarnation is when you believe that you had a past life. You also believe that when you die, you will be born as another person... That's it in a nutshell," she said. She then patted the boy on his head and smiled. "Now, soup is almost ready! Get your bowl, please!"_

_That soup was delicious, by the way._

_Flashback_

Hercules eyes flashed open as a shadow rested on top of the stopped bus. He rubbed his eyes and slowly got out of the bus. He wondered where he was at the moment. As he was surveying the area, his eyes rested on a very unusual object.

A fruking flying burrito.

At this time, Hercules decided that all logic had gone through the roof and waved at all of his friends. The burrito slowly landed on the ground and remarkably didn't squish anything. It was strange how they had a burrito shaped meadow thingy right in the middle of a forest. But no one really cares. Yup.

"Vee~! Hercules! How are you today?" Feliciano said while getting off the burrito. Hercules said a small 'I'm good' when he noticed something very, very bad.

"Where's Kiku?"

Everyone looked around for the Asian man who was most definitely not a fabulous stone statue. Sadly, no one could find him. All of his brothers and sisters that came cried out in protest.

"I just groped his breast, da ze!" Im Song Yoo cried.

"I'm very sure brother Kiku was sitting next to me..."said Lien Chung (Vietnam, I believer).

"I saw him come on here, ana!" Kassem Chao (Thailand. I spell his name with 2 S's instead of one. SCREW DA POLICE- /shot/) muttered worriedly.

(This space was for China, but he decided to stay home)

So, in conclusion, Kiku wasn't on the burrito.

"Where is big bruder?"

Make that Vash and Kiku.

"What happened... The last time you saw... Kiku?" Hercules asked. Everyone tried to remember when they last saw the man. This required a lot of thinking power, so many of the friends fainted on sight.

"I believe he was... turned into a statue... by... Vash?" Arthur said, using his mental abilities to the max. Surprisingly, Mathias, an awesome Danish man, agreed to this statement. Due to his sheer amount of awesomeness, he wasn't stumbling around like Arthur was currently doing.

"I agree. Vash did seem to freeze Kiku with a glare... I don't believe big brother saw it...," Natalia mumbled, looking at her brother who was on the floor passed out. It wasn't that he required enough brainpower to think of this subject. No, he could easily tell everyone what happened. But... When he saw all of his friends faint, he wanted to be in the popular party so he fainted.

Hercules nodded to himself. Suddenly, a memory that was totally not his flashed in front of his eyes.

_Flashback?_

_Hercules looked down to himself and saw the tight leather armor that covered his body, allowing his rippling muscles that he never knew he had to burst from the seems. He looked over to his hand to reveal he was holding a bunch of snakes. It looked like he was pulling someone's hair. But, this wasn't a bunch of hair. It's a bunch of snakes._

_Or that's what he thought._

_He looked down more to reveal a woman with green skin and some sunglasses. Well, no one could call them sunglasses. But they did cover her eyes pretty well. "Why do they?" he wondered._

_"You might have won today," the woman hissed. Hercules thought he recognized the voice. But at the same time, he didn't recognize the voice. Let's just say he was very, very confused._

_"I have won today. And I will continue to win for many other generations..._

**_Medusa_**_."_

_Suddenly, Hercules suddenly knew what he was doing, who he was, and what the women was._

_Flashback?_

Hercules stumbled back onto the ground. He looked up to the clouds. Despite the fact that the clouds looked like cats eating pizza, he couldn't get that one fact out of his head. He finally knew what must be done.

It was time.

To Eliminate.

The Switzidusa.

* * *

**That hurt my head so bad. So very bad. I might have a fever...**

**Well, fruk.**

**Because I'm a buttface like that, I made a cliffhanger. Or maybe I did that because I can't write fight scenes. Maybe... Maybe...  
**

**Please PM me if you want me to write something! Don't be surprised if I suck monkey balls. I'm getting out of my little box of people I can write. It's so small! *holds up Sealand box* See! Look at the Sea-kun! LOOK AT THE DAMBOLIS!**

**Reviews are encouraged! Please!**

**Hasta la Pasta~!**


	3. Chapter 3: Three Chapters in One

**Yes, I will put a part 2 of Switzidusa's Wrath... It's just that this chappie. It begged me to be written. BEGGED. Like, on the knees.**

**I felt the urge to... to...**

**Well, I have no idea. Here's a collection of mini-chappies. Human names shall be used. Both Lovino and Feliciano are chibis, by the way.**

* * *

Chapter 3 1/3: Fixing a Russian Phone

Ivan opened the door very slightly, making sure that the door didn't creek at all. He stared at his target with such intensity that could've made his sister, Natalia, scared. If he was being his usual self, he would go into the room and ask his question to the target. But, he wasn't feeling like himself today. He felt a little bit more... more...

What was that term that the Japanese down the street always used?

Uke-ish?

That's it.

So, feeling incredibly uke-ish, Ivan continued to stare at his target.

Inside the room, the target, also named Eduard Von Bock, was not even noticing that Russian outside. Instead, he noticed that he was getting no where in his game of Trivial Pursuit. Seriously, didn't he reprogram it to not have hard questions? For example, who knows who was the last of the Apache warrior chiefs? Eduard did not know, nor did he care for the question.

But, he still got it right. Thank you guessing system.

And it was a pie! He was one step closer to Trivial domination!

"_P-Privyet_ c-comrade..."

Eduard jumped three feet in the air. His IPhone 6, a gift he had received from the previous fanfiction, flew somewhere into the unknown. Also known as behind the TV. He slowly turned around. As he did, a look of utter terror was plastered onto his face. "_Tere_ (Hello) Ivan. What do you need?" he asked, trying his best to keep his terror inside him. Ivan fiddled with the edge of his scarf.

"C-Could you... you..." Ivan tried to find the right word to say. Of course, because of his uke-ishness, Ivan was tongue-tied. He finally knew what his little Latvian "friend" Raivis felt like on a daily basis. Maybe Ivan shouldn't have drank that vodka in the mailbox...

"Please spit it out, Ivan. I am very busy right now," Eduard said. He suddenly realized what he said. He felt very comical tears pouring from his eyes at the moment. He was about to apologize when he heard a single word. A word he thought that he would never hear from Ivan's mouth.

"Sorry..."

Eduard looked up at him with wide eyes. He never thought that there was a caring side to this Russian man. "Maybe he had some bad vodka...," he thought to himself. "I-I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. Do you need any assistance Ivan?" Ivan replied by nodding vigorously. He dropped his phone onto Eduard's lap and ran away, his face ablaze. Eduard looked at the phone. His face grew pale.

The phone was... was...

10 years out of date.

Eduard wondered if his technology skills were this good.

***This time skip was brought to you by the Baltic Trio! By tickets to their ballet recital now!***

Eduard felt like the uke one now. He felt like it was a bad idea to eat that mochi he found in the lawn. He always wondered what one taste like.

Maybe he should've realized that the mochi was a Mochi!Japan.

"I-Ivan, I fixed your phone. I'll put it right here," Eduard said before bolting out of the room. Ivan put his bookmark in his book and stood up. He looked at his phone and noticed something... different.

His phone was lacking an aura.

He hurried over to where his phone was and picked it up.

It broke instantly.

For the next two weeks, the Braginski household was covered in a dark arua with screams penetrating it a couple times an hour.

Eduard had a fun time touring the hospital.

* * *

Chapter 3 2/3: When Photos are Revealed

Lovino sighed as he loafed around on the couch. Today, just like any other day in his chibi life, he was bored. So bored that talking to that HRE kid seemed like a good idea. Actually, scratch that. To Lovino, talking to that annoying blond guy with no name was never an option to him.

"Ugh... Idiot Antonio! I'm bored, fruking entertain me!" he whined. He turned onto his stomach and looked toward the kitchen. Antonio looked at Lovino from the kitchen. "Lo siento, Lovi! I have to cook dinner! If you want to, you can explore in the attic!" Antonio chirped. Lovino rolled his eyes and stood up. "Whatever you say, bastard." With that, he ventured upstairs.

In the kitchen, Antonio laughed evilly to himself. "Lovino will get scared and coming running to me for comfort! He'll finally recognize me as his hermano!" he thought out loud. His laugh echoed throughout the house. It was amazing how Lovino didn't here anything.

***This time-skip was brought to you by Antonio's Tomatoes! Remember, the bosses tomatoes are the best!***

Lovino remembered one thing.

He hated the attic.

The attic was a dark, dusty hell-hole with ghost and ghouls hiding in every corner. Despite this fact, Lovino trudged through the old furniture. He wondered to himself why he was still up here. Right now, he could be eating some of those delicious churros that Antonio always made. Not that he would admit that they were delicious. That secret would stay in his grave.

He had a feeling that something was stored up here. But what it was, Lovino had no idea.

"CHIGIIII!"

A crash was heard as Lovino tripped over air.

Lovino grunted and got onto his knees. He looked at his lap to see that a book had fallen on there.

Full of pictures.

Of him.

"ANTONIO!"

It was then that Antonio remembered where he kept his secret Lovino pictures.

* * *

Chapter 3 3/3*: The Wrong Person

"Im Song Yoo! I will never let you in until you stop groping me and Kiku, aru!" an angry Chinese man said as he kicked a South Korean man whose name has already been said. Seriously, it was the first three words.

"But aniki! Whose breast should I grope, da ze?" Im Song asked. Yao shrugged and slammed the door shut. Dejected, Im Song scurried away to the sidewalk and began walking down it. He passed several oddities, ignoring each and every one of them. Except a Danish man serenading a British man. He watched that for a while.

Arriving at a park, he sat down on a bench. Im Song sighed deeply. "Who's breast should a grope now?" he mumbled to himself. He suddenly looked up. His eyes scanned the park until they reached a certain big-breasted person.

"Katyusha~"

Im Song Yoo stalked towards his prey like a leopard. As soon as he got close enough, he pounced! "I claim your breast for the proud nation of South Korea, da ze!" He squeezed the mounds a few times before he noticed something.

The mounds never existed.

"Kolkolkolkolkol~. Little one, what are you doing to Mother Russia?" a voice that was most definitely not the Ukrainians woman voice. Im Song Yoo's face drained of all color as soon as he realized who he was groping.

Let's just say that Eduard had new friend.

* * *

***This does not mean Chapter 4... Just bear with me here. *holds up a bear plushie***

**I'll post the part 2 of Switzidusa's Wrath next. I swear. I just felt like writing this.**

**Sorry I haven't been here for a while. I got sick and busy. Like usual. I usually get sick in the Fall and Winter, so don't be surprised if I'm not here for a while!**

**I also has lack of inspiration. 3.2 and 3.3 were highly forced. You can tell.**

**Remember, you can ask me through PM to write a chapter of your choice! Because... I really want to. And plus I would like to see what random ideas you come up with! Like...**

**Making Germany eat the broom!**

**Germany: What?!**

**Exactly! A broom!**

**Hasta la Pasta!**


	4. Chapter 4: Switzidusa's Wrath Part 2

**I ship Gasser/Beauty so hard. Like I ship Spain and Romano (I'll respect your OTP if you respect mine!). Watching Bobobo again made he remember that! *wipes eyes* Bobobo was the first anime I ever watched in my life...**

**Anyways, enough reminiscing time! It's time for Part 2 of Switzidusa's Wrath! Yay!**

**But firsttt... Thank you to CommandoCherry and Phoebe-chan for reviewing! Glad I gave you ideas for your story! NAOW we can go on!**

**P.S. I spell his name like Hercules. I'm not sure whether it is right or wrong, so don't hate me if it is wrong!**

* * *

Chapter 4: Switzidusa's Wrath Part 2

Suddenly, Hercules realized that he wasn't in Kansas anymore. No, he was in a garden. He bolted up and looked around. Nothing was out of the ordinary. The flowers were in full bloom, their scent wafting through the air. The birds were chirping like they do everyday. Despite all of this, Hercules felt something was off. He scanned the premise before he finally realized something.

The statues look very... life like.

Hercules stood up and looked at the little cat statue that was seated on a stone bench. He noticed how detailed the cat looked. It seemed like each whisker took years to craft. To him, it was the cradle of perfection.

"What are you doing on my property?!"

Hercules turned around. Instantly, he was looking down the barrel of a gun, which was held up by an angry Swiss person. Or in this story, Switzidusa. Hercules put his hands up to show that he was innocent. "I... don't mean to... harm anyone," he said. Switzidusa looked at Hercules through his sunglasses. He put down his gun and waled toward another statue. This statue looked like a guy peeking through his hands to see a scary movie. He appeared to be wearing some clothes that did not look like it came from this century. Or better yet, millennium.

"I've always wondered where these statues came from. Of course, I've only thought about it recently. Before all of this... How you say, conflict appeared, I only cared about how much could I sell it for. But now, I wouldn't trade them for the world," Switzidusa said, smirking slightly at the statue before him. Hercules sat down on the bench and rubbed his eyes. He still needed more sleep. "And... Why is that?" Hercules asked, yawning loudly. The atmosphere of the garden was making his eyes droop slightly.

Noticing Hercules tiredness, Switzidusa hissed. Snapping out of character, he started saying things that he would never usually say. Especially in a femine voice.

"You fool! You idiotic fool! Why are you sleeping now? You know you are more vuleberable at this state. I could easily turn you into stone! I could crush you like a bug! Dead right there!" After finishing his (more like her, since that was Medusa saying everything) rant, he got a hold of himself and looked at Hercules, who was in a deep sleep.

"I'll give you the cat statue if you wake up."

Hercules instantly woke up and started petting the cat statue. For some reason, the cat statue started purring.

Even though it was stone...

Or is that a toster strudel?

"Don't you want to know where your friend is?" Switzidusa asked. Hercules nodded quickly. Switzidusa smirked. "Well, I won't tell you that until you answer this riddle~!"Hercules nodded once more; he was good at riddles.

"What's get wetter the more it dries?"

Hercules listed all the potential answers in his brain. Thie following is what he got: Never going to give you up, never going to let you down, never going to run around and desert you. Never going to make you cry, never goin to say goodbye, never going to tell a lie and hurt you.

Basically, his mind Rick-Rolled him. So, he went to extra mesures. Mesures to extra, he thought that he would never use them.

"May I... go to the... restroom?" Hercules asked. Switzidusa nodded. He mught've been the reincarnated form of a monster from Greek mythology, but he still would let you relieve yourselves.

At the bathroom, Hercules pulled at his phone and called one person he wishes he didn't have too.

Sadiq Adnan.

* * *

Now, we bring our story all the way to Turkey. Now when I say Turkey, I don't mean the food! When I say Turkey, I mean that beautiful country known for their tulips! With seas covering most of its sides and mountains barely touch the top of the clouds, there is no way one can call this country ugly.

Of course, I only put that in there because I felt like talking about Turkey.

Anyways, in the city of Ankara lives a Turkish man who goes by the name of Sadiq Adnan. He has a good life. Lots of money, lots of free time and...

Well, that's about it.

Currently, Sadiq was reading a book while drinking tea, a very British thing to do. But no one can blame him! He is reading a book from Britian. It was most likely the books infulence. Or maybe he just wanted to drink some tea that went good with this sunny day. There he was, relaxing and enjoying life. "I wish this can last forever... That'd be nice..."

**RING RING MOTHAFRUKER. RING RING.**

His hopes and dreams were dashed by the sound of the phone ringing.

"Adnan residence. Who are you and what do you want?" Sadiq asked into the cellular device. He heard a couple seconds of silence before he got an answer.

"I need... your help...," a voice groggily said. Sadiq knew this voice from anywhere.

"What are you doing calling me, feta breath?! Why would I help you out, kitty idiot!" Sadiq shouted into the phone. This "feta breath" was the only one in the entire universe that could get him to get this angry in an instant. Our main character! The one and the only...

Hercules Karpusi!

"If... you don't help me... Kiku will stay... a statue forever..." These words shocked Sadiq down to his very core. Kiku... was a statue? He was concerned for his Japanese friend that he had to share with his enemy (AKA Hercules). Kiku and Sadiq were close, but not as close as Hercules was with Kiku.

"Ah! Seriously, man! You should've said the before! What do you need help with?" he said quickly. He got out his trusty pencil and reached for something to write on. This item had was his book. He paused for a moment and put all of his attention on his wonderfully British book. "Why should I soil this magnificent creation of the human kind's mind? Would I be a different man if I did not? If I did?" he thought to himself.

Suddenly, his brain pushed away these awfully British thoughts. It must have been the book... His mind, learning this new information, put on "Vandalize the Book" on his mental to-do list.

In slot number one.

"-the more it dries... Thank you for... helping me..." This phrase brought him back into the realm of reality and made him realize something.

He only heard half of the phrase and...

Hercules hanged up...

Sadiq wondered if Kiku was turning back to human anytime soon.

* * *

Hercules hung up and smiled to himself. Sadiq was _actually _going to help him. Maybe it was the thought of Kiku being a statue that caused him to help Hercules. Whatever it was, Hercules was still happy. Kiku was going to be human! Now all he (Hercules) had to do was wait for Sadiq to call back.

So he waited...

And waited...

And finally he realized that Sadiq wasn't going to call back.

Sighing in frustration, Hercules exited the bathroom. Just to be met with a bunch of floating towels...

Towels...

It suddenly clicked in his head! The answer to the riddle was "towels!" As he laid there on the floor, he facepalmed himself. After doing so, he finally realizes that someone was there talking to him frantically.

"-you alright Mr. Karpusi? I don't want to hurt my bruders guest! Big bruder came home! Isn't it great? But you might've known that... Are you alright Mr. Karpusi?" a little girl asked in front of him. He blinked a couple of times in confusion; all of the talking was very fast and confusing. It was like she was... raving (Word of the Day).

"Can you... slow down please? All of this... is making me confused...," Hercules said (saying exactly what I said... Meanie...). After saying his sentence, he started to wonder about on important thing... Where did this girl come from? Didn't he bump into a floating... stack... of towels.

Hercules mentally facepalmed. He did it as hard as he could, for he thought he really, really deserved. "I... am an idiot," he thought.

"I-I'm sorry, Mr. Karpusi! My big bruder wanted me to tell you to come to the garden as soon as possible! He told me that I shouldn't bring towels... But I thought you might need some... Do you think bruder will get mad?" the little girl asked while looking right in his eyes. Hercules patted her head and smile lightly. He stood up and walked to the garden, leaving the girl, whose name is Lili, on the floor, relieved that she wouldn't make her brother angry.

* * *

"The... answer is towel."

Switzidusa jumped a little and turned around to meet the intense eyes that are owned by Hercules. He frowned a bit and pointed at a statue that was so well hidden that one would have look at the correct spot to see it. This statue was indeed Kiku. Except he was all pink and appeared to have little... things in his hair? Baubles? Bobby pins? Barrettes?

The author is a failure at being a girl.

"He'll turn back to human if douse him in hot water. I guess I always had a little bit of her with me as always..." Switzidusa said, "If I were you, I would get Kiku out of here before she takes over again... Well? Go! This is you only chance!" Hercules nodded a thanks and carried the statue of Kiku all the way to Japan.

Hercules can do this because I said he can. HAH.

**This time skip was brought to you by fangirls everywhere! Gooooo FANGIRLS!**

"Kiku... Kikuuu?"

Kiku heard a voice somewhere in head, but he couldn't tell where. Was it in his speech center? Or maybe it was in his memory complex... His hentai structure? Inventing system? Pinkithai using a thesaurus?

Most likely the latter.

He fluttered his eyes open. Sitting up, he looked around where he was. It seemed like... his bedroom? Kiku was very confused. The last thing he remembered was talking to Vash in the forest. Something about him... using his nu hankey the wrong way? That's most likely it.

"Is anyone here?" Kiku knew it made no sense to ask where he was... I mean... He knows he's in his bedroom.

"Ah... Kiku, you're awake... How are you feeling?" a voice that doesn't sound that groggy anymore said. Kiku looked toward the voice. "Hello Hercules. What are you doing in my room?" Kiku asked. Hercules raised one eyebrow and brought in a plate of something inside.

"I carried you here from Vash's place... He froze you... No turned you into stone with his... powers of Greek mythology... So, I turned you back... with the power of heated water... Any other questions?" Hercules replied. He put Kiku's food on the **ONE NIGHT STAND** (Hur hur hur) he had next to his bed. He sat on the edge of Kiku's bed and looked at his own feet. After several moments of silence, a single question was uttered.

"Will Vash do it again?"

Hercules looked at Kiku for a brief moment before answering his question. "I don't know... From what I get, Medusa is trying to fight control for Vash's body. Luckily, he... is strong. He can handle her for a long time before she needs to get an outburst. I wouldn't... worry about Vash for now. However, I would worry for the future. The future... is uncertain. We must prepare for it. So.. my answer to your question is yes. He will. However...

_When it will be is the question._

* * *

**And that was the ending! Sucky, I know. Serious, I know...**

**One night stand was funny though.**

**Switzidusa will come back. When I need ideas, of course. I'm thinking of terrorizing England, Russia or America...**

**Now, hate to be this guy, but ADVERTISEMENT! My online BFF, Pheobe-chan (AKA phoebe sajo), made this RP site called "Random RP". I joined it (and made this awesome RP), so why don't you! Address is " anything (hyphen) .com**

**That is how I will put it, since nothing else works.**

**THAT IS THE END OF THE AD.**

**Well, PM if you want me to write a chapter based on what YOU want! I think they call it requests... I've seen people do it before, so it must be okay! I hope...**

**Well, I have no idea what to say... If you sneezed during this- I know Tobuscus, har har har. **

**Hasta la Pasta!**


	5. Chapter 5: A Dream is Just a Dream

**Honestly, I have no idea what to write. I mean, randomwise. I got this idea of a story that's really serious! And in a POV I suck at... First person is NOT for me. Third person forever!**

**So, I've created something from every dream that I've had... That I've remembered. So here is... Chapter 5: A Dream is Just a Dream**

* * *

Chapter 5.1: The Deer and the Bee

"Vee~! The berries today are very fresh fratello!"

"The tomatoes are even better."

This was that usual conversation that went around ItaDeer and RomaDeer. They were eating out of the community garden, like they did always. No one really minded. They never harmed people, nor have they eaten anything else but berries and tomatoes. So the kids that run the garden sell everything but those two items.

However, today RomaDeer wanted a change. Sure he loved tomatoes, but if you eat a lot of one thing, you get bored of the taste. And if you eat a lot of one thing it's unhealthy. That's why ItaDeer always ate grass and... other things... that's not on my short list.

RomaDeer looked around for something that looked good enough to eat... The squashes? No. Squashes are disgusting... To RomaDeer, at least. RomaDeer looked over to another place in the garden. The... flowers?

Why are there flowers in a garden?

Then again, a garden isn't complete with flowers.

"This looks like a good one...," RomaDeer muttered to himself. Just as he took a bite...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO DAISY?!"

GermaBee was most definitely angry when he saw one of the two deers try to steal _his_ Daisy. Daisy was his and only his. Even though he knew he had only 90 more miles left in his life, he wanted to spend it all with Daisy and her beautiful petals.

Every bee in the hive had a flower. A flower to call their own. For example, RusBee had his sunflower while FraBee had his rose. There are many more examples, buuttt I feel lazy today. Very lazy today. So lazy that I'm drying my hair while typing on the computer. So lazy.

"I'm going to eat this flower. Do you have a problem with that, you _kraut_?" RomaDeer asked. GermaBee flared up in anger. Or did whatever bees do when they're angry.

"I do care! She's my flower and you can't have her!" GermaBee said in a surprising OOC-ish way. Or is it like him? Maybe both? Something like that. Anyways, he said it in a possessive manner.

"Well, fruk off, bastardo!" With that, RomaDeer ate the flower.

"**HOW. DARE. YOU. YOU WILL PAY.**" GermaBee said with a dark aura surrounding him. RomaDeer stuck out his tongue and asked," What are you going to do, daisy bastard?"

"I know exactly what to do..."

_STINGGGG_

"Vee... Fratello, that wasn't very smart..."

"OH SHUH UH YOU STUPI FATELA (Shut up you stupid fratello!)"

((**BTW, Roma got stung in the tongue~! In me dream, it was in the butt... But, this will do!**))

* * *

Chapter 5.2: ROADTRIP!

"Are we there yet, da ze?"

"No, we are not, ana."

"Are we there yet, da ze?"

"No. We are not even close, ana."

"Are w-"

"YES WE ARE HERE. Now shut up, I'm reading a book, aru. So immature," Yao bellowed. This left Kassen to focus on parking the car and Im Song to shut up. Lee looked at all of them with an amused expression on his face.

They all filed out of the car and did their own things that they were supposed to do. Yao stretched and notified their sisters (who were home) that they arrived safely. Kassen unloaded everything from the trunk of the car. Im Song gathered firewood for... the fire. Lee set up the tents that everyone was going to sleep in. Except Kassen. He was going to sleep outside with his pet elephant, Toto. Which he smuggled in there.

Yes, they were like a family. Well... They are a family... A... Team? Yea, let's go with that.

"And then the twins heard a twig snap, aru... They looked around in fear... But they were still surprised when... PEDOBEAR CAME ((Ba dum tsss))"

What? When did they change the time without me? When I get them, I'll- *thrown out of story for breaking the fourth wall too much*

"A-Aniki. W-Where did you hear that story?" Im Song said, occasionally looking back into the woods that look far more creepier than before. Yao thought for a moment when he remembered.

"Antonio told me i-" Yao never got to finish his sentence.

"NOOOOO!" After this was screamed, a blurry object swept down and took Yao. He wouldn't be seen until the morning. No one talked about it. Why?

Well, they didn't want to be the next target of the fangirls.

"T-The fish is good, right, ana?" Kassen said, his voice shaking a bit by the sudden appearance of... it. Im Song nodded quickly while Lee continued to eat the fish. The rest of the night was spent in silence. That is... Until...

"HEY KIDS!"

Their screams resonated throughout the forest.

((**In the end, it was their sisters pranking them. And Yao was found the next day huddled in the corner of a secluded cave. It's not exactly the dream I had, but it was fun writing.**))

* * *

Chapter 5.3: Virtual Water Balloon Fight

"I-I just got to put this on... A-And I'm inside!"

The screen flickered before starting up. The logo that plainly said "Made by Pinki Corporation" was shown for a couple of seconds before the screen flashed with the name of the game.

**VIRTUAL WATER BALLOON FIGHT**

Raivis Galante smiled to himself as he logged on into the world. His helemet bounced slightly as he excitedly waited for the loading screen to disappear. Suddenly, he felt him get sucked away from reality and into the world of water balloons.

*WARNING: Character Chat ahead. Don't get your knickers in a twist*

**HeroGuy2014:** Hey **Shaking_Dancer**! How are you doing today? Think we gonna beat that blue team?

Raivis laughed to himself. HeroGuy was always a fun person to play with. He's also his tactics specialist.

Now, why would one need a tactics specialist when it's just a water balloon fight? It's not like it's a war...

**Shaking_Dancer: **Thanks Hero. Now, how is the other side been doing today? Have they had any new recruits? Any news on what **Angry_Potato1** is doing with his army?

Well, in this game, it's war. Always war. Every day it's- Okay, you know where I'm going with this.

In reality, Raivis is a timid 15 year old boy who lives with his 17 year old friend, Eudard Von Bock, and his 19 year old friend Toris Laurinaitis. His everyday activities include getting bullied by a huge Russian named Ivan and serving this same Russian. His only real friend is a 13 year old boy named Peter. However, in this world, Raivisis the respected leader of the Red Team. He constantly saves the lives of online teammates and rarely gets hit. He is surrounded by friends who will listen to him and understand.

Naturally, you can tell which one he choses to stick with.

Raivis has worked hard for his current position. Sure, there are other players who surpass him in the skill of throwing the water balloons, but they either aren't a good leader, a jerk, or someone who doesn't play constantly.

Seriously, Raivis's two year anniversary of buying the game is coming up next month. Now that is what I call dedication.

**HeroGuy2014: **Well, **PastaLover13** joined his team. Sounds like an Italian name. Then again, we also got this dude named **TomatoLover13**. They sound like they know each other in real life...

**Shaking_Dancer:** That's good. Can you alert everyone on our team that's online at the moment that we are scheduled for a battle with the Blue Team at 6 o'clock the afternoon. My time. For you it would be 8 o'clock in the morning... I think so, anyways.

**HeroGuy2014: **Why can't everyone live in one timezones? It would be soooo much easier! ;_;

**Shaking_Dancer: **Haha. Now please do that. I'm going to do some mini-games to buy some more water balloons. The more the merrier!

**HeroGuy2014: **Fine. *HeroGuy2014 ends chat*

Raivis sighed to himself and shook his head. That HeroGuy... Anyways, he moved his character that was customized to look something like him towards the minigame center. In this place is where you get to... play minigames. These minigames are from Apple Bobbing to Zebra Hunting ((See! A to Z! Huh? Huuhhh? ... I try to hard)). They come at random, so you never know what will happen.

If you win a minigame, you earn coins. They amount of coins you get differ from game to game. Coins allow you to buy supplies you need. From the simple water balloon to the atomic water bomb, there is a lot. Of course, the more damage it does, the more coins it cost.

Atomic water bomb... So pricey... So pricey...

After a ton of minigames in a row, Raivis finally got enough coins to buy him 100 water balloons, ten water balloon guns and one water balloon catapult. Which he bought. He noticed that his screen was spammed with chat boxes of different teammates of the Red Team.

**RoseRedAmour:** Are we really going to war with the Blue Team? It seems kind of risky, no?

**Mochi_Master_24: **Raivis, I don't believe this is the best time for the war to be for me. I'm very busy with paperwork from my job. Please excuse me from today's battle.

**Pinkithai: **Hey Dance! I'll definitely join today's battle! By the way, I heard your two year anniversary is coming up. Do you want to have a virtual party on here? I can definitely make it on here! Being the creator and all has its privileges~!

Raivis hated when his screen was cluttered with different chats. It's very troublesome. This was only some of the chats on there. He gulped and got his fingers ready. This was going to be a long time.

**_*Some time later* _**

**Shaking_Dancer: **You ready Hero?

**HeroGuy2014**: More ready than I've ever been before.

The two characters stood side by side in front of their army. On the opposite side of the arena stood **AngryPotato1** and **Awesome_Me_Is_Awesome**'s army. Both teams were decked out with water balloon weapons of all kinds. The arena was deathly quiet. That is until...

_BANG_

**Shaking_Dancer *to everybody*:** ATTACK!

War.

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing.

((**My dream version actually had only me and Germany playing. Well, the only peoples I know. It was a fluffy dream... *sparkles* Yes~! Anyways, I tried to make the usernames as predictable as possible. If you need any of them, just ask me~!**))

* * *

**Three stories in one... I'm doing that a lot, aren't I! Anyways, time to answer some reviews! Well, just one. BUT IT'S A START!**

**CommandoCherry: Go right ahead! Thank you for asking. Very nice indeed. I thought the one night stand joke was too lame, but I guess I'm wrong! It's not like I copied it off of some meme... Pffft.**

**To everyone else out there, I'll accept you request by PM. Seriously man... I'm running out of material... *looks at dress* Needs more calico... I think *has no knowledge in the art of dressmaking***

**I'll see you later my lovely readers!**

**Hasta la Pasta! **


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